The Temperature is Chili
My town recently had a Massive, Unprecendented Chiliganza Cook-Offinator, Designed to Rock the City's Foundation to it's Very Core.
(Really, that was the name of the contest.* The Municipality's marketing department will change once I'm in charge. That, my friends, is a story for another time.)
There were only two things of note from this particular event, both of which I will go into varying degrees of detail:
1) Super-Genius' dad won first place, and Super-Genius didn't even mention it on his blog. What a bad son.
Congrats Super-Genius-Father!
2) A few days previous to the competition, the city's two weekly community papers (yes, we have two, despite the complete and utter lack of a need for one) both ran a photo featuring the competing chefs standing around the Mayor, surrounding a pot of chili.
His Honor's Esteemed sleeves were rolled up, Mayorally of course, and his hands were angled inward, positioned as if he were about to scoop the chili manually to satiate his undying hunger for the product that keeps him going. The chefs stood around, partially reaching toward the pot with their ladles, wooden spoons, chilificators and sundry items, and all individuals were looking directly at the camera smiling.
This carefully composed picture looked exactly like a man about to put his hands into a pot of a chili, while 6 other men tried to put their utensils into a pot of chili, and all of them were happy to do so.
The caption SMRTly read, "The Mayor tries to stop local chefs [names I don't remember] from getting into the chili early."
WTF?! "Tries to stop?"! What is wrong with people? Calculated image construction should, at least, have a caption that makes sense. Do these people even read what they write? The Mayor looked no more like he was trying to stop them than he looked like he was about to tear their hearts out with his teeth.
Well, I guess with his bizarrely toothy smile, and sunken old eyes, he did somewhat resemble a member of Dracula's legion of the undead, but I somehow doubt that's what they were going for.
*This, of course, is a lie. No city is that stupid. At least, not until I'm in charge...
(Really, that was the name of the contest.* The Municipality's marketing department will change once I'm in charge. That, my friends, is a story for another time.)
There were only two things of note from this particular event, both of which I will go into varying degrees of detail:
1) Super-Genius' dad won first place, and Super-Genius didn't even mention it on his blog. What a bad son.
Congrats Super-Genius-Father!
2) A few days previous to the competition, the city's two weekly community papers (yes, we have two, despite the complete and utter lack of a need for one) both ran a photo featuring the competing chefs standing around the Mayor, surrounding a pot of chili.
His Honor's Esteemed sleeves were rolled up, Mayorally of course, and his hands were angled inward, positioned as if he were about to scoop the chili manually to satiate his undying hunger for the product that keeps him going. The chefs stood around, partially reaching toward the pot with their ladles, wooden spoons, chilificators and sundry items, and all individuals were looking directly at the camera smiling.
This carefully composed picture looked exactly like a man about to put his hands into a pot of a chili, while 6 other men tried to put their utensils into a pot of chili, and all of them were happy to do so.
The caption SMRTly read, "The Mayor tries to stop local chefs [names I don't remember] from getting into the chili early."
WTF?! "Tries to stop?"! What is wrong with people? Calculated image construction should, at least, have a caption that makes sense. Do these people even read what they write? The Mayor looked no more like he was trying to stop them than he looked like he was about to tear their hearts out with his teeth.
Well, I guess with his bizarrely toothy smile, and sunken old eyes, he did somewhat resemble a member of Dracula's legion of the undead, but I somehow doubt that's what they were going for.
*This, of course, is a lie. No city is that stupid. At least, not until I'm in charge...
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