Radish

'Tis the season (punctuation pending)!

Christmastime is, in perpetuity, my second favourite time of the year. There's something wonderful about the generally (freely given or forced) sincere nature of your fellow man. Political correctness aside, most major culture/religious group celebrates something this time of year, and people are generally in a good mood.

And yes, I will use the term "Christmas" because that is what I celebrate. If you celebrate something else, I hope it's equally as enjoyable.

There's a feeling of hearth, if that is something that one could perceptually measure; maybe it's the spirituality, or the consumerism, or the desire to end the year on some sort of high-note, but the feeling is palpable, and welcome in an increasingly cynical world.

Pontification aside, the material aspect of Christmas is really the one that interests people the most. When I was a child, it was the start of the all-important Spoilification that would inevitably occur come Christmas day. I would put days of effort into constructing an easy-to-read, simple-to-purchase, direct-info Christmas list, in order to better aid those who wished to win my loyalty through life.

As years have gone by I enjoy watching people open gifts, but only if they're from me -- I like to explain the reasoning or use for the gift, and gauge their reaction accordingly; I don't put an immense amount of time into my Christmas shopping; I make quick, snap decisions as to the appropriateness of each gift, as the majority of my gifts are budget-dictated.

If I have $30-50 to spend on someone, I ask myself if the eye-catching item would make a good gift for that person specifically, and base my purchase on that. It can make for a very interesting shopping excursion (as my stalker will attest, having to put up with my bizarre consumerism habits for 4 hours), but I usually get 90% of my shopping done in one afternoon.

My parents, and my brother, are another story: I set no limit on their gifts, and buy them something that they would like. I might buy my mother some Versace sunglasses, or a mini-fridge for my brother, but the price-point is not a priority for me. However, it's usually the more functional or simple gifts that work best for my dad, as he's very easy to please; he was more excited to get a $20 DVD copy of Cinderella Man than he was for his $100 Aldo Leather Slippers.

On some level, I'm glad that I'm not with Heather right now, as I am positive that I would have spoiled her completely rotten. In fact, I've never had a serious relationship over the Holidays, so I can only imagine how much money I have saved because of that. I could very well be living in a box right now had that not been the case.

To me, this is the most entertaining part of Christmas; finding people things they will like, or things that will complement them in some way, and giving them with no desire for recompense. Sure, it's great to receive gifts, but I will treasure a thoughtful thank you over a hastily purchased, non-descript, household thingamajigger.

My mother puts a lot thought into my presents (my dad doesn't shop, but he did pick out some shirts for me) because she loves Christmas. Mom always has a way of knowing what I need (ie. new boots, gloves, jacket), without me even realizing that I need it.

All that being said, I'm sure -- nay positive -- that you are wondering, "If Christmas is your 2nd Favourite Time of the Year, what's the first?"

My birthday, naturally.

Peace, love, joy and fruitcake to all! Death to all those who oppose!

Posted by Jack Tango at 13:09 | Permalink | Comments

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my wish for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, non-addictive, low stress, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, as well as the secular practices of your choice, but with full respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

And further, please accept my wish for a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contribution to our diverse society has helped make this country great (not to imply that CANADA is necessarily greater than any other country, and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, veteran status or sexual orientation of the wisher, wishee or their third party beneficiaries).

These wishes are limited to the customary and usual good tidings for a period of approximately one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.

Use of the term "Holiday" herein is not intended to, nor shall it be considered to be, limited to Judeo-Christian celebrations or observances, nor to such activities of any organized or ad hoc religious community group, individual or belief (or lack thereof). In particular, the word "holiday" is used herein without reference to its etymology.

Note: By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal, and is revocable abinitio at the sole discretion of the wisher at any time, for any reason or for no reason.

This greeting is freely transferable provided that there is no alteration to the original greeting text. Any transfer is to be at the risk of the transferor who, by making such transfer, thereby agrees to hold the wishee harmless from any and all adverse consequences resulting from such transfer.

This greeting implies no promise by the wisher to actually take any action or fail to take any action to implement any of the wishes for the wishee her/himself or others, or responsibility for the consequences which may arise from the implementation or non-implementation of same.

This greeting is void where prohibited by law, custom or policy and is offered irrespective of any card, hard copy greeting or embarrassing self-indulgent letter summarizing achievements in 2005, however mendacious, which may or may not have been purveyed by myself or any member of myextended family.

Reasonably Endeavored Wishes,

Jack Tango
a.k.a. Dan Radice

Posted by Jack Tango at 12:13 | Permalink | Comments

For everyone to enjoy, here are three things that I love:




Yes, that is a real broadcast image. I'm hot.

Posted by Jack Tango at 22:37 | Permalink | Comments

His Grace would like this, I think.

Language-related tricks and funneries.

Check it out.

Posted by Jack Tango at 19:32 | Permalink | Comments